Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional, nor do I have professional or personal experience with addiction. This post is purely anecdotal based on my experience in eating disorder recovery.

Stop me if this sounds familiar.

It’s late. You’ve eaten dinner and you’re full, but there’s still a void that needs to be filled. You can’t tell if it’s physical or emotional or something else.

You know your favorite binge food is in the cupboard, calling to you, baiting you to surrender to its power and give up your own. You tear open the package of said food, unable to stop yourself from mindlessly consuming it until all you’re left with is a pile of crumbs and insurmountable guilt. There was no thought involved—just an emptiness that needed to be plugged up. But now you’re not only full, you’re uncomfortable.

A scene like this isn’t necessarily grounds for an eating disorder diagnosis, but those in recovery might know this sequence of events far too well. It’s a loss of control, a few minutes of unconscious compulsion. There’s no real reason why we do it—**it just *has* to be done.**

Eating disorder behaviors can mimic other afflictions, like addiction. They can make us feel unable to control our own thoughts and actions. They convince us to perform an action we know will make us feel poorly, but for those first few seconds, feels like blind bliss.

If you recognize these addictive tendencies in your disordered behaviors, you might feel even more powerless in your recovery. Your eating disorder may signal to you that if you don’t fill that void, you’re going to continue to feel empty. Why do our eating disorders capitalize on the desperation of addiction to get us to take actions that make us feel like crap?

Let’s explore.

The genesis of food rules

Food rules are introduced to most of us very early in life. Meal times are set by our parents or guardians. We have to finish what’s on our plate before we get dessert. Insert another food rule that was implemented in your household here.

At a young age, we learn there are restrictions around food. We can only have predetermined amounts at predetermined times and sometimes with certain stipulations. In short, even in food-secure households, food can seem like a limited resource.

Diet culture only exacerbates the idea of rules around food. It’s simple math: In order to get x (e.g., the perfect body), you have to do y and z, which usually involve some kind of severe calorie restriction masked as “moderation” and coupled with extreme physical exertion.

Before we know it, we’ve become devoted followers of these rules and believers of these principles. We’ve reached our mental baseline, and we know nothing else to be true.

And once rules are in place, it becomes harder to heed innate signals of hunger and satiety.

The language of eating disorders and addiction

To unpack the similarities between eating disorders and addiction, let’s start with the language.

According to the American Psychological Association, addiction is defined as follows:

A state of psychological or physical dependence (or both) on the use of a substance or behavior.

The United Kingdom’s National Health Service (NHS) expands on this definition by indicating that the individual lacks control over doing, taking, or using something to harmful extremes, all of which have the end goal of reaching a desired “high.”

With substances, this high is often artificially produced by the substance itself. But highs can be naturally initiated by certain activities that cause the brain to release a neurotransmitter called serotonin.

Serotonin helps regulate sleep and appetite, manage mood, and initiate pain relief. It’s released when an individual engages in pleasurable activities, like eating. But afterward, the body may experience a “come down” period, during which mood and energy levels may decline.

But why are food and mood so interconnected?

Food and mood

Ninety-five percent of serotonin is produced in the gastrointestinal tract, which is where food is processed in the body. So it only makes sense that when we eat, we feel good, and why wouldn’t we want that good feeling to keep going?

The addictive elements of eating disorders may feel stronger in EDs like binge eating disorder, where the individual chases this serotonin boost, regardless of the after-effects. The eating disorder will convince the person to do whatever it takes to achieve that high, even if it interferes with normal daily activities.

Yet, even if we acknowledge this loss of control over our eating habits, we may find it difficult to shake for the following reasons.

Addictions can be comforting

It’s hard to come to terms with, but there was a point during my eating disorder when I considered my behaviors to be a source of comfort.

When I couldn’t control the tumult around me, I found solace in rituals I had established around food and exercise. These were things I could control, and they helped me feel stable.

Addictive behaviors can act as reliable coping mechanisms when we’re unable to find support elsewhere. They can convince us we can depend on them because, unlike people, they’ll always be accessible. We can count on them to numb us and help us disassociate from ourselves and the world around us. And in this way, they also can be isolating.

Addiction thrives in secrecy

Eating disorders thrive in secrecy. Why? Because they convince us we should be ashamed of our behaviors.

EDs tell us that how we behave around food isn’t normal. In fact, it’s cause for suspicion. And if people around us find out about our behaviors, they may try to put a stop to them. And that endangers the ED.

The same can be said about addiction. The weight of stigma surrounding any mental illness is enough to keep our mouths shut for as long as possible. But so long as we are quiet about our behaviors, they will gain strength and become even harder to abandon.

How to address addiction and eating disorders

Eating disorders make it easy to feel out of control. This is because their sole purpose is to be the one thing we can rely on in a confusing and chaotic world. We can turn to them when we need to stand on steady ground.

The common theme between addiction and eating disorders is the desire for that high, however temporary and however inconvenient. The difference is how we get to that high.

But the good news is we can take back control over how we get there by seeking other activities that elicit a natural release of serotonin. In the writing prompt below, I invite you to explore what this might look like for you, and to revisit what you’ve written when you feel the urge to binge.