Why does eating disorder recovery take so long?
The first time I was told I had an eating disorder, I was ready to hear the treatment plan before I even processed what the diagnosis meant. I was desperate to get rid of the obsessive thoughts and the destructive behaviors, and I was beyond eager to get my life back.
I imagined a seamless road to a healthier life, one where I’d simply listen to professionals’ advice and finally embrace the life that was waiting for me.
But the reality of recovery would look nothing like I’d envisioned.
It would take longer, be more involved, and require much more from me than I ever anticipated. In fact, it’s a journey I’m still on, 20 years after my diagnosis.
Some may see this extended recovery as some kind of failure. But recovery isn’t slow because of the person who’s recovering—it’s slow because of biology, psychology, learned patterns, and living in a society that reinforces disordered behaviors.
In this post, I’ll zoom in on:
what happens in the body and brain as we unlearn behaviors and patterns,
why setbacks don’t mean failure, and
how to embrace a nonlinear, timeline-free recovery.
What happens during healing
Recovering from disordered eating is more than mental; it’s also deeply physical.
For example, years of malnutrition can affect everything from cognition to mood to the ability to make decisions. In place of logical thinking come anxious, obsessive thoughts involving a preoccupation with food and routines.
Even when a person’s weight is restored—which some wrongly consider to be the marker of full recovery—your brain’s conditioning takes time to stabilize. Proper nutrition can help with this, but it’s not the complete solution.
Rewiring and rewriting
The messaging that contributes to (some) eating disorder development takes years to imprint into the mind. Behaviors are not only learned but reinforced through external compliments, diet culture, and other normalized aspects of an image-focused society.
Eventually, the behaviors can become so ingrained that they become habits, linked to our identity, and/or relied on as coping mechanisms in difficult moments.
Real recovery requires supplanting this messaging by creating new thought patterns. Think about how long your current beliefs have been around. Years? Decades? Your entire life? This POV might help clarify why consistent and persistent reframing and rebuilding are necessary. Because in the end, you’re not just getting rid of old thoughts and behaviors; you’re replacing them.
Personal Story: Same messages, different font
Diet-focused and fatphobic messaging started permeating my mind as soon as I was able to comprehend the English language. After 20 years of being unable to escape its shadow, I started attempting to distance myself from it. But this was almost impossible. Every few years, a new diet popped up. A new ingredient suddenly became the enemy. And standards surrounding what was considered “beautiful” shifted. It was all the same messgaing, just a different font. And that messaging is: your worth is tied to your appearance.
Only when I detached my worth from my appearance was I able to start to tune out these messages. Even though they continue to pop up without warning, I can shut them down without a second thought—a skill that took years of practice and still tests me to this day.
The non-existent timeline
As you embark on recovery, you may be inadvertently met with some sort of manufactured timeline. For example, inpatient/residential recovery typically offers stays for a designated period, e.g., 30 days. This can make it feel like you should be healed by the time you walk out the door. Or, if you’re not where you hoped you’d be at the end of treatment, you might think it’s not working, or you’ve somehow failed.
In reality, recovery isn’t over the minute you stop receiving professional help. It’s an ongoing adjustment that requires repeated recommitment.
According to a study published in January 2024 on eating disorder outcomes, “overall recovery rates climb significantly over time—from 42% at under two years to 67% at ten or more years—suggesting that recovery is a long arc rather than a destination.”
Eating disorder recovery does not cater to the impatient, nor the person who’s quick to give up when things get tough. Progress at any speed is progress.
The societal factor: How diet culture impacts recovery
As a recovery broken record, I’ve rambled incessantly about the insidious nature of diet culture. Not only does it pump catchy melodies into our ears from birth, songs we can’t ever shake from our brains, but it seems to double down as we move into recovery. Our increased awareness of its attempts to lure us back in makes it seem as if its reach has exponentially expanded overnight.
Diet culture’s ubiquity fosters friction in recovery. The mantras, realizations, and biological truths we learn in recovery are constantly challenged by ads, social conversations, and social media. If you need more evidence as to why your recovery feels like it’s taking longer than it should, a quick scroll on your phone or an afternoon at a cafe where calories are listed on the menu should be enough to reorient you to the reality of recovery in the real world.
Personal Story: GLP-nones
Despite the fact that nearly all of the social media content I produce is about on eating disorder recovery, I still get targeted with ads for weight-loss solutions, like GLP-1s. Rather than being drawn into what they have to say, I laugh at the algorithm’s obvious misfire in their targeting. Or, perhaps it’s intentional. After all, similar messaging—a quick, easy way to weight loss—is what pulled me into disordered behaviors in the first place. And with the jury still out on the actual long-term effects and potential dangers of GLP-1s, they likely want to get people hooked before we catch on to their secret.
Setbacks don’t mean derailment
In eating disorder recovery, lapses, regressions, and difficult periods aren’t anomalies—they’re to be expected.
The coping mechanisms you’ve relied on in the past don’t just disappear once you start recovery. They’re almost automatically switched on when you’re feeling stressed, triggered, or are experiencing major life changes.
Rather than seeing this dip into familiar patterns as derailment, try to view them as information. They serve to inform you that something feels off and that your body craves calmness, comfort, and stability. Instead of clamoring to control the situation, make a list of activities that can soothe your nervous system, like journaling (scroll down for a journal prompt!), changing your environment (step outside for a few moments), petting an animal, or talking with a loved one.
It takes a long time because it’s worth it
Regardless of when recovery begins, it doesn’t always have a firm end date. And this is not a direct reflection of your worth or effort.
As your body heals, your brain adapts, and your patterns shift, the environment around you may not change as drastically. This can challenge your progress, but it doesn’t have to dismantle it.
Think of it this way: Every time your recovery is challenged, it gets a little stronger. You learn what you’re comfortable with versus what might hinder your recovery. Even in the wake of inevitable setbacks, you’re building on something. And even if the finish line is nowhere in sight, you’re moving forward.
Pause & Prompt
Think about your expectations for recovery.
What are they?
Where did they come from?
How do they compare to your recovery reality?
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Because giving up is exactly what the eating disorder is waiting for.