Binge eating: Why can’t we stop?
*DISCLAIMER: I am not a therapist, psychologist, or medical professional. The words below are based on my own research and my own personal experience. Please do not take the information below as clinical advice. If you feel you need support, please click here.
The moment the term “binge watching” entered my ear canals, I tensed up and rejected it. Up until that point, the word “binge” had a very different connotation in my universe. In the case of “watching,” it defines the act of viewing multiple episodes of a TV series in one sitting. It means doing something without the ability to stop. In my world, that something that was being done incessantly was eating.
Binge eating was a part of my disordered eating pattern and my recovery journey. There were times when I was in a trance-like state, a place where I felt like I was outside of my body, just watching a person (myself) mindlessly consume food without thinking, without feeling. In recovery, I would learn that I turned to food to try to quiet an insatiable craving, which, as it turns out, had absolutely nothing to do with food.
After binge eating, I was flooded with questions:
Why am I eating so much when I’m not even hungry?
Why can’t I stop eating?
Why do I feel so poorly (physically, mentally) after eating so much?
Why do I feel so guilty after eating?
I didn’t know the answers right away. I also was too riddled with guilt, sadness, and frustration to care to explore them. But now, I (along with some research) will do my best to uncover the reasons we binge eat and offer ways you can work through your thoughts about binge eating.
What is binge eating?
According to Columbia University’s Department of Psychiatry, there’s a difference between binge eating disorder, binge eating, and overeating. Let’s break it down.
Overeating and binge eating
Overeating is something that we might do occasionally, but not frequently. The same goes for binge eating. After eating, the individual may feel regret, but the behavior and these feelings don’t “dominate one’s thoughts or significantly disrupt daily life.”
Binge eating disorder
Binge eating disorder differs from overeating and occasional binge eating because episodes “often include eating quickly, eating until uncomfortably full, and eating when not physically hungry.”
Additionally, the “bingeing tends to happen alone or in secret,” followed by feelings of guilt or shame. “Ultimately, the key difference between binge eating and [binge eating] disorder lies in the frequency, intensity, and impact of the binge eating behavior on one’s life and well-being.”
Why do we binge eat?
The reasons we binge eat can be deeply rooted and complicated. Since I am not a medical doctor or a psychiatrist, I’m not going to diagnose binge eating reasons or patterns. But, I will share what research has shown us are some of the more commonly presented reasons people may engage in binge eating behavior.
We’re restricting food
One reason we may binge eat is that we’re restricting our food intake. My recovery was riddled with this kind of binge-restrict cycle: I would restrict, binge eat, feel guilty, and then start the cycle all over again.
Research shows that “most binges are preceded by a period of restriction, because the physical hunger and mental exhaustion of food deprivation is unsustainable.”
We have too many food rules
When you tell a child not to do something, what do they want to do? That very thing.
Even into adulthood, we can slip into this mindset. When we label a food as “bad” or “off limits,” we give it power. We assign moral value to it. But the truth is, food isn’t powerful, nor does it have moral value. The rules we’ve applied to eating can backfire, leading us to crave the one thing we won’t allow our bodies to have.
We’re seeking comfort
Food can be a way to self-soothe. We may have eaten warm soup when we’ve had a cold, or maybe we were rewarded for eating all our dinner with sweets. In this way, we were taught to equate certain foods with comfort, which can take a long time to unlearn.
Binge eating is not about willpower
Contrary to what fat-phobic messaging may tell us, an individual’s lack of willpower does not cause binge eating. Binge eating is not the person’s choice or fault. It is not a disorder of will; it is a disorder of the brain.
Why do I feel so guilty after binge eating?
According to the Eating Recovery Center, binge eating is part of a cycle of shame. It “thrives in secrecy” and “increases feelings of shame and distress, perpetuating the cycle of shame.”
There’s also social stigma around eating a lot, which can contribute to feeling guilty after binge eating. We may have been told or have seen people comment that binge eating is gross or disgusting, which only exacerbates shame.
A post-binge drop in mood is incredibly common. Not only do we feel the physical effects of eating beyond fullness, which may include abdominal pain and sluggishness, but we also may feel shame, disgust, and symptoms of depression because we’ve told ourselves that what we’ve just done is “bad.”
How can I stop binge eating?
When we binge eat, we mess with our natural hunger cues, leaving our bodies confused as to whether we’re actually hungry or just craving something. That “something” might be rest, deep breaths, or connection with a loved one.
It can be a challenge to learn how to trust ourselves again. The following tips can help us recognize what we might be seeking when we’re faced with the urge to binge.
Examine existing eating behavior
One cause of binge eating may be as simple as we’re not eating enough on any given day.
A helpful exercise might be to write down what you eat in a day. Do you think it’s enough to support your body throughout the day? Remember that food helps us with focus, concentration, mental energy, and physical energy. Do you feel like you have enough of these four things during the day?
If you’re unsure, you may find it helpful to speak to a doctor or nutritionist, one who specializes in binge eating.
Identify hunger cues
If you’ve been participating in binge eating for a while, your internal hunger cues may need help getting back to a place where you can correctly identify them. A professional therapist or nutritionist who specializes in binge eating can help you establish more regular meal patterns that ensure you’re getting the nutrients you need to fuel your body.
Use compassion to confront shame
A self-talk practice that leads with compassion might feel silly and unnatural at first, but consistent use of empathetic and kind language toward yourself can literally flip the script. Each time you forgive yourself, you take one step away from the disordered behavior and one step toward freedom.
Find ways to self-soothe
If we turn to food to soothe ourselves, we may find ourselves feeling worse after the binge. The next time you feel the urge to binge, try sitting with these feelings. Ask yourself, what do you really need right now? Do you need a break? A hug? A good cry? Maybe some time outdoors? If you conclude that you are indeed hungry, then honor your hunger.
Final thoughts
Binge eating isn’t a choice. It isn’t a fault. And it isn’t something you have to live with forever.
By uncovering the reasons behind binge eating, introducing self-talk and healthy coping mechanisms, and practicing these two tactics every single day, you’ll take steps toward untangling yourself from the behavior.
Pause & Prompt
When I want to self-soothe, I…
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Why we binge eat and how we can work through our thoughts about binge eating.